CONSIDERING A DIVORCE. Need Advice/Help?

Me and my husband have known each other for over 2 yrs. We just got married July of this year. We have a 1yr old son. My husband is 38, and I am 20 soon to be 21. I got married because I felt it was the right thing to do , rather than live in sin. I love him, But the age difference is really starting to push things into huge problems. Our views are totally different, and sometimes I think its a good thing. I feel that we are the same in some ways. But then again we tend to bump heads on other things. Another thing is MY FAMILY DONT LIKE HIM AT ALL. I dont have any friends because I am not from this city. We moved here after Hurricane Katrina. I feel that I am too young to be married to someone so old, and settled in their ways. I know that he wont change his ways at all. He is getting older. I consider myself quite young . I feel bad because I should've gave it more thought but like I said I love him. I dont feel that counseling will help at all. NO RUDE REPLIES, YOU WILL BE REPORTED!.CONSIDERING A DIVORCE. Need Advice/Help?
Get a divorce. You are correct in all your concerns. You will never agree and I understand why your family doesn't like him at all. They probably feel he took advantage of your lack of maturity in comparison to his. You have a lot of living to do and you can share the responsibility of the child with him. Pray and ask for guidance. What does your gut say, not the lovey mushy stuff, your actual gut?CONSIDERING A DIVORCE. Need Advice/Help?
You made the statement that you ';didn't want to live in sin';.


If you believe in God, then the only reason that God recognizes for divorce is adultry. Anything else, He expects you to work out. It was your choice to have a baby with this man and your choice to marry him.


I disagree that counseling will not help. I strongly suggest you find a good Christian based church and see if they have a counseling program available.


I wish you the very best!
in my opinion he took advantage of you being so young. can you move back to your family? i would bet a lot that they feel the same way, that he saw you as young and trusting and needy, that is, not an equal to him. it is very hard to be on your own with a kid and with no family around so i would suggest you move back near your family.
You are not that much younger. I know couples where the age difference is 26 years and one where the age difference is 30 years. All of them get along well. It is normal to have different views on things at times--even with couples of near same age. The point is that you need to decide weather you love him, because I think that's what the real issue is. Another point is what's best for the child? There are too many broken marriages with children growing up in single parent households, so if you decide to leave, is that best for your child? So there is a lot to be considered. Good Luck
i think you need the waaaaambulance
';I got married because I felt it was the right thing to do , rather than live in sin.';





o_0?


So... you didn't marry because you really liked him and wanted to have a family with him? Or you didn't marry because it would've make you both happier? You married because you're scared of God?





I don't think God approves living a lie, and neither should you... I think it'll be better (in the end, not necessarily at first) for you to reconsider your committment, you do have a child, you don't want to raise a child in an unhappy marraige, that teaches children that love is a lie. You yourself feel longing for a life you lost for no real tangible reason... I think you really need to talk this out with someone, a good friend who cares, or a family member you trust, even if they're far away right now, there's gotta be someone close to your heart who can help you find your feelings and yourself.





PS: it's okay, don't feel bad or guilty about these thoughts, I'm sure ALL marraiges and couples go through some doubts at sometime, it's just human nature.





PSS: Sometimes we gotta make or find our own happiness, it makes it easier for God to bless us with it.
I'm 41 and my wife is 24 we got together Win she was 19.( she asked me for my hand in marriage ) we have two girls age 5 %26amp; 3,the first 3 years were hard on us becouse of the age thaing.but now all is great.yes I also wanted a Divorce but we worked it out and all is going great.I love her and she loves me.age is a big thing but you will become one and see that it is only a number..keep working on it.if not for you thain your child.
My husband was 13 years older than me. At first it didn't seem like a big deal, but after a while I realized that I was still growing up and changing, and he was as grown up as he was ever going to get. After 7 years, I had to call it quits. But before you decide to do something so drastic, try joining a group or finding a hobby you can do with other people. Even taking a yoga class or something will help you make some friends. You may get along better with your husband if you don't spend all of your time with just him.
Please dont cause you will live with the trauma foe the rest of your life. Just see how you can make it work. But if the problem from persist. Just look inward and see what you perceive to be the savest and will not hunt your future.
going on that first date was a mistake. and if u knew y'all had different views on things why would u go and have a baby with him? i say u get divorced. ur only 20, u can't spend the rest of ur life miserable and with sum1 u don't love. but still keep in touch with him for ur child's sake. he can't live without a father. and if ur worried about the whole sin thing, remember God is a loving and forgiving God. just pray about it and everything will be fine.
Run now before it's too late.





Everybody gets a trial marriage. The first one never works out.
First off, what where you thinking? Your so young to have married someone way to old for you. In your case I would really have to ask you, what do you mean he wont change his ways? Has he ever cheated on you? Is he a boring grumpy person? Don't know I mean you would really have to think about it. I'm going trough a hard time in my marriage because I got married so young too. I got married when I was19..now we have a little boy and my husband is so inattentive with him and me. On the weekends he plays on line videos games and eats all day. The worst part is that he has a Porn addiction and that is destroying our marriage. My question to you would be, what is destroying your marriage? Good luck on whatever you decide. God Bless!
if you say you love him, then prove it and show it to your child by means of keeping your marriage in good standing. is he a beater women, a drunker, a drug addict, a lier, a good for nothing, a bad parent, a bad provider, a bad lover?...if all of these things are not part of him, then just because your family don't like him, is not necessary a divorce.......now, if you think you are too young for him, then you should of think of it.
First of all, 38 is NOT old! Apparently the attraction was merely sexual, though, because you feel it's no longer working out. I have a friend who married a man 18 years her senior and they've been happily married for 20 years now! You have to try to work through whatever is making you unhappy - but don't blame it on his age!
... At 21, you are a mom and wife. And what you liked at 18, you are realizing that it isn't going to be the same at age 25... you are sinking already. He didn't suddenly become ';pushing 40....';





In this case, counseling probably would do nothing, as you have suggested. It appears you are skidding in the areas that make marriages work: Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust..... In your place, I'd get back into school, and train for a job that was going to pay me well, since it looks as if you are going to be a single mom soon...........
I think you may be depressed. You don't have any friends, moved to a new place, been through a hurricane. It may not be him, it may be that you are having a rough spot in your life. See your doctor about how you feel. Maybe you could see a counselor instead of a couples thing. For your son's sake get some help before you put him through a divorce.
I am sorry to say that you made your bed and now you should lay in it...for the sake of your son. You made a baby with this man and he deserves to have a father raise him along with his mother. Make the best of it...it won't be easy, but NO marriage is. All marriages take work. You should have thought it all through better, but we all make mistakes and have to deal with the here and now...can't change the past. I know most women would tell you to divorce, but personally I don't believe in divorce, especially when you will rip a kids world apart. Look at it as a challenge each day of how you can draw closer to him...you mayfind that with a little effort, you can be happier than you think. Best of luck!
Well you knew that he was older before you got married so I have a Q for u, why did u? And if u truely love him why does the age matter? You haven't even been married a good 6 mon. yet and already want to end it. Maybe it is just that you dont want to be tied down in marriage. I think that it is somethingyou need to figure out on ur own cause no one can tell you what u need to do ur the one living it. But being u commited in vows to be with him you should give it all u got before u walk away.
Try not to focus on the age difference / family issues and look at the man himself. You havent really said anything that is wrong about him except for the fact that hes older. There are alot worse things out there than that. Is he a good father? Does he love you properly. Different views is a good thing; that is how you compliment each other and bump your family; they are not the ones who married him. So dont let their opions SCARE YOU AWAY. Im sorry that you feel you rushed into marriage but you havent really given a valid reason to leave him. Pray and ask God to help you concentrate on the good things about your husband and atleast give it a year or so since there is no immediate danger. I know you are young; but marriage is hard work regardless of the age difference.
well you kinda answered your own question, you knew he was 18 years older than you, you knew your family didnt like him at all, yet you still married him! why? you love him!!!


nobody is always 100% happy in any relationship, there are always things that the couple will disagree in, you should be more specific as to what problems are you having, because you say that you also find the diffferent views to be a good thing, so please explain.





It also sounds like the fact that you moved bothers you and that you dont know anybody there, i would look into relocation before i do into divorce or start making friends, is not exactly hard to do that, your young! you should be in school!!
You got married to young. I was married at 20 and divorced at 23 because I changed a LOT during those 3 years and my ex was 8 years older than me. You'll continue to change over the next 10 years until you're finally set in your ways ;) Bottom line, I suggest you get divorced if you're not happy.





Good luck to you.
divorce him you were too young to marry him from the start. Only you can make that decision good luck.
Tell him i need to think things through so let him take care of the baby and u can go to hawaii or something and think about this. You can bring along a friend for comfort. Just think about what u want. not your family or your friends.
Darling you need to rethink what you really want in your life. Marrige is supposed to be for life and you took that step, my advice to you is to give the marrige your all, work on it and hopefully thing will work them selves out. Don't give up so soon, good marriges take a lot of work. Good luck =~!!
Get a divorce if your not happy and you feel the relationship is unhealthy.
Age does effect views being different. So what if they are? Ya you married him knowing these differences. Is he abusive? Is he cheating? Does he take care of you and your kid? Compromise. Isn't that what marriage is all about. And communication? And omg your family doesn't like him! Your family needs to step back and keep their noses out of your business and you need to stop involving them in your business. Don't divorce because you argue sometimes and you don't see things the same way. If this is too blunt for you o well..
Couples fall apart for many personal reasons and one of that is when one of the partners ignores how the other feels. Two years being married would be considered still in the honeymoon phase. However your story says otherwise. Only you have to answer for your self. If your husband wants the marriage to work out, maybe you would like to give it a chance. But if you think, there is no love left, move on. We live in a country when you are given freedom to choose your life and Divorce as painful it may get, is still a choice we are all entitled to have. Just as long as you and your husband act responsibly towards your one yr.old son to make the transition easier for him at all possible. Good luck girl.
Leave, it will not get better, I am sorry. hon, he is too old for you, old enough to be your father, move back with your family. Thing swill get better. Please use birth control, do not get trapped.
Sounds like you have already made up your mind. Your choices are yours to make. Good luck.
These things are what you should think about before getting married...but, you are young without experience to know this. (maybe) I would talk to him. Talk to an atty. It may be the best for both of you, especially since you have pretty much made up your mind already by saying counseling won't work.
Give him the baby and move on with your life. Party down, girl.