Thursday, July 29, 2010

Advice - Help Me!?

Recently, I found a # in my boyfriends cell of a girl he used to date/slept with. I don't mind the # or the fact that they're friends... but it's the fact that they HAVEN'T been for the past 2 years or more, and he went to a party with a friend who is related to this girl, and the # is all the sudden in there again. Before anyone says I was wrong for looking in his phone, this is something he did to be the day before, and has done in the past out of despite...... so, when I asked him if he was cheating on me %26amp; why her # was in his phone, he got pissed b/c I looked out of despite... but tried to push the fact that he DID it on to me...... part of me wants to not bring it back up b/c 1. he said he's not cheating %26amp; wouldn't. 2. b/c i've been with him, not that girl. 3. it's only happened this once that i know of. But, part of me also, wants the # out of his phone, for the temptation part of it.... Am I be unfair - - - someone PLEASE help me on what to do or say!Advice - Help Me!?
What you need to do is sit down and tell him you two need to talk.Tell him you don't want to fight or anything like that but you to really need to talk about things. Tell him what you are concerned about. About how after 2 and some years later the girl you he did sleep withs # is in his phone. Not that you are saying that he is sleeping with her now but that you don't like it. Because of somethings that have happened in the passed with his cheating. And you don't feel comfortable with him having her #. Just tell him that you don't think he is cheating on you now but the thought of having her # and knowing the relationship they did have makes you uncomfortable. If he is was a really good man (i don't think he is ) then he will understand were you will be coming from. I hope you can work things out(if that's what you really want). Just remember that trust is one of the biggest thing you need to have in a relationship. And if you do not trust him then you should not be in a relationship with him. And anyone that would cheat on there partner out of spite is not worth being with and you should have gone when he did that.Advice - Help Me!?
First of all, no you aren't unfair, and sure you were snooping but it seems like you have reason to snoop. Plus, that's not the point. The point is he has a number in his phone that shouldn't be there. The way I see it,ex-boys %26amp; girls can't be friends without SOMEONE tryin to develop some type of intamacy...If he's cheated on you before, then I'd understand the suspicion...Squash it before it gets too far. Tell him you don't want them hanging out or talking because there's NOTHING for them to talk about (unless they have kids). If he doesn't like it, kick him to the curb.
Dump him! There are too many trust issues with him.
You both need to do some growing up emotionally. Your relationship will go nowhere with the trust issues you both obviously have. If you are wanting a serious relationship with someone...dump him and work on yourself first. Investigate why you have trust problems. Until that is resolved you most likely will always have a problem trusting others.
You two deserve each other. No privacy issue with you two. BTW, you just lowered yourself to his standards when you went snooping.
Well, did you delete the number? I would have and told him he shouldnt have it in there. But im married and you are bf/gf and stuff like this always happens. If you dont trust him and he does stuff just to get back at you then you dont need him. He's always going to make you suspicious. Thats not a good relationship to have.
I don't understand why people feel compelled to stay in relationships that are obviously 'troubled'. There is insecurity abound in your relationship. Things will not just get better. It's time to face the facts.





Your boyfriend chose to put this girl's number in his phone. There was no need to. I can speak from personal experience when I tell you that I have run into past flames, old friends that I purposefully stopped associating with... and despite the pleasantries we exchanged when we met one another (at a party, at the mall, etc)... I did not take their info so we could 'get together', 'catch up' or anything else.





Dating is a time to evaluate whether or not you wish to pursue a lifelong relationship with someone. It is not a time to compromise or accept 'bad behavior'.





If your beau chooses not to delete this number, despite your discomfort with him having it... then he is sending you a very important message - you are not important enough to him for him to respect your opinion, wishes or feelings.
He called the ho because he still has feelings for her. Stop being naive and drop him like a hot rock. He won't be shocked, just humiliated.
you have no reason to feel bad for snooping on his phone, and the fact that he got pissed about it is a bit suspicious cause if he had nothing to hide he wouldn't have made a fuss about it.I wouldn't trust him all that much if I were you
I think you have every right to be mad and maybe a little jealous, too. It sounds to me like both of you girls are competing for this guy's love. Apparently, he likes you more since he is still in constant contact with you so-REALLY-, why does he need that other girl's phone number? Can't you just politely ask him to delete it? I mean to say that he has no reason for it being in his phone and he does not need her as a female companion so just ask him. Just try telling him how you feel, is mainly what I am saying. He should understand, and if he doesn't, I would considder whether or not he is the understanding guy for you.
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