I have a 14 yr old step daughter who would LOVE to have her parents back together...I need some advice. HELP?

My 14 yr old step daughter is super super sweet to my face, wants me to do things for her and with her but...she would love to have her parents back together. I know that will never happen because I am very secure in my marriage with my husband. Why does it bother me so much that she feels that way? Do I have a right to be hurt by that? Should I stop doing things with her? I need help. Any advice out there would be appreciated. Thanks!I have a 14 yr old step daughter who would LOVE to have her parents back together...I need some advice. HELP?
You can choose to be hurt by it, or you can simply realize that kids want their parents together.





If you were not part of their break-up, I would suggest you choose to not feel bad about the situation.





Validate what she says. Tell her it sounds like she loves both her mom and her dad, and you appreciate the difficult position she is in.





If you were a party to the break-up of their marriage. I.E. he left her for you, or you dated him before his divorce was final, then some of the guilt is rightly owned by you.





If that is the case, you were not the only one who destroyed the marriage, but you were not an advocate for them staying together.





If you were, I would apologize to her, or certainly sympathize with how she feels.





I wouldn't give hope or crush hope. Simply listen to her feelings and be understanding.





It's really not about you, so why you would feel hurt, unless you were a party to the break-up is beyond my understanding.I have a 14 yr old step daughter who would LOVE to have her parents back together...I need some advice. HELP?
Every child wants their mother and father to be together and have the perfect normal family. She's nice to you probably because you were not the reason her parents are not together. Don't stop doing things with her. Make her life as happy as it can be and she will eventually give up hope on wanting them together. You shouldn't be hurt but understanding. Explain that sometimes things don't work out in adult relationships but that you all love her very much.
I think that this is a very normal wish for any child. I also think that if she is smart enough, which most teenagers are, she could be using this as something to hold over your head. I'm sure you know that kids are very manipulative and if she sees a reaction from you then it would make sense to say that she is using it to either get something from you or just to hurt you. Consider the fact that this child might be very angry about her parent's divorce. If she is still harboring that anger then it would be really easy to take it out on you. Better you than the two people that she loves and hopes will reconcile.


My advice would be to talk to your husband and her mother. All of you should sit down and discuss the situation and her parents need to tell her, in front of you, that they are not getting back together. Perhaps provide counseling for her. I would be concerned that if she couldn't use you as an outlet for her anger that she might choose an even more unhealthy way to release it. Good luck!
You have to be the adult here. Speaking as a step dad who's step daughters hated my guts. Just keep loving her. When she grows up she'll love you even more, mine did ;}





Hope this helps
I put up with the same thing. My step son was someone who let it be known that he would like to have his parents back together. We never have had a good relationship. It's not bad, it's just not great either and it's been 10 years. Good luck.
how she feel is natural, all children want there parent to stay together, but since you and her father are happy then dont let


it worry you. dont stop doing things for her, unless it come


a problem dont worry so much.